Saturday, December 31, 2016

Au revoir!

So tonight I've also decided to leave this blog.. I just feel like I can't really express myself freely here anymore, I don't know. That's probably why I haven't written in here for awhile now too, leaving all my stupid rants on my tumblr sideblog.. but anyway, that's final.. I actually really love this blog so much, I've had it since 2012, I was soo cringey back then /I still am tbh/ so I ended up deleting like 3/4 part of it, all the old personal shit posts, everything. I was actually planning to purge this entire blog but all these photos I've shared here, and also my all 344 followers, thank you, I appreciate every single one of you.

As for my assignments and school stuff I shared with you all guys here before, I still have them all on my mediafire account, I might make another sideblog later for school stuff lmaoo that's if I remember tho, the last time I promised you something here OK I don't even remember what it was but I'm pretty sure I broke it. Oh well... 

Aaaaand if you guys came here from my old blog, the one that I started in 2010, that blog account was hacked, I am so pissed bc google doesn't let me delete the blog. I told you earlier I was sooo cringey here, then on that blog I was soo very extra ultra cringey I want to remove my whole existence! like what the fuck? What was the young me thinking that posting all those stupid shit would be okay? OK, so all the links attached on that blog are dead, so if you are linked to some stupid website or weird accounts, I can assure you those aren't mine. I never shared my facebook account online either. So yeah, if you want to stay in touch, hit me up on twitter.

Unfortunately tho, I can't tell you guys about my future blog. I will probably keep myself anonymous there. Ahhh I honestly thought this was going to be my last blog. 

But anyway, thank you soo much guys for all these years being here. All your comments, the blogwalking thing, everything! It was really fun.




I should say good bye now. 

Have a good life.


Sincerely,

Ann

2017




OK, today is literally the last day of 2016. Can't you guys actually believe this? I mean it was like yesterday we celebrated 2016, me making that list writing down everything I need to do this year.. Oh well, let's not talk about this I might have a break down if we continue, and it's fucking new year's eve I don't want to ruin the mood.

So yeah, everyone actually said this year is like the worst year for them, like if you don't mind me quoting Jay on twitter he literally said every time something good happened in this year, there would be like 5 bad things occurring after that. Fact only.

Like I will never forget this clown shit, I read on twitter this Nick boy I don't actually remember his name, literally not leaving his house, not going to school bc he was so fcuking scared of this dumbass man in his fcuking clown suit I swear to god it was KKK. And then there was this fcuking harambe I still don't know what harambe is?? and there were so many legends died this year! started with the Man of my life Alan Rickman, rewatching Harry Potter now will never feel the same, David Bowie, Muhammad Ali, and just this month alone we lost George Michael, Carrie Fisher and her mother. What the fcuk happened in 2016 tbh? all the shit, the shootings, the bombings? Like what is wrong? and then Donald Trump dumbhoass is a president? OK I'm done here.

Despite all those awful things that happened this year, it wasn't really that bad for me actually. It was pretty rough, I tripped a lot, it bruised me here and there, but I managed apparently. I got awarded a scholarship to do my PhD, won some awards, presented my work in some international forums i before could only dream about, got involved in a big project I've always wanted to be a part of, and.. well I can't tell you much guys the rest is pretty personal but they were just wonderful I found myself smiling sometimes I need to work on my facial muscles I hate me..  

To put it short, I'm so very grateful for this year, I managed to overcome this struggle I have, of course there will always be fear accompanying me along the way, but at least I've learned how to deal with it better. There were a lot of hellos and goodbyes this year, but that's basically life isn't it? 

Lol I just love how this post went from like it was dumbhoass KKK to how sad life is in general. So I better just wrap this up, I will end this post with this quote from Fulton Oursler, 

"Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future."

Happy new year guys!


Saturday, December 6, 2014

Stop and rewind.

Sepertinya sejak siang tadi langit tidak berhenti mendung, pulang dari lab juga saya kehujanan. Ah, semoga tidak kena flu lagi.

Wah hallo again journal, tidak terasa kalau ini sudah Desember. Sebentar lagi 2014 berakhir. Tahun yang terasa singkat tapi begitu berkesan buat saya. Kalau di-flashback rasanya Januari seperti kemarin, teringat Desember tahun lalu saya berhasil lolos seleksi aplikasi beasiswa dan berhak mengikuti seleksi interview bersama kandidat lainnya. Dan ternyata itu sudah setahun yang lalu.

Tahun berganti, 2013 jadi sejarah, dan Februari pun datang dengan berita gembiranya. Saya secara resmi diumumkan lolos sebagai salah satu penerima beasiswa AAS tahun ini. Saya rasa saya tidak bisa menemukan kata yang tepat untuk menggambarkan betapa bahagianya saya saat itu. Akhirnya satu dari sekian mimpi-mimpi itu terwujud.

Alhamdulillah.

Tiga bulan setelah pengumuman, tepat di minggu keempat bulan Mei saya berangkat ke Bali untuk mengikuti program Pre-Departure Training (PDT) saya lengkap dengan kelas English for Academic Purposes (EAP)-nya. Waktu yang saya habiskan di Bali pun juga terasa begitu singkat, di sana memang cukup sibuk sehingga sepinya Ramadan tahun ini tidak sampai membuat saya frustasi.

Yah, tahun ini memang jadi Ramadan pertama saya jauh dari keluarga, merasakan betapa sahur dan buka puasa sendiri itu sangat tidak menyenangkan. 

Ditambah lagi saya harus berbesar hati merayakan ulang tahun saya sendiri. Meskipun seperti biasa memang tidak dirayakan tapi setidaknya ultah-ultah sebelumnya ada mereka, mereka yang sebelum sholat subuh berjamaah kami selalu mencium pipi kanan-kiri saya, memberi pelukan hangat, sembari bergumam,

“Selamat ulang tahun Ka Nita, semoga panjang umur dan apa yang dicita-citakan tercapai. Amiiin.”

Sederhana sekali, tidak ada bingkisan terbungkus kertas kado, kuetart, atau apapun itu. Hanya doa dan pelukan dari mereka satu persatu, pelukan yang tidak cukup hangat tapi cukup untuk menegarkan saya, merelakan berkurangnya satu tahun masa hidup saya di bumi-Nya.

Tak lama Idul Fitri datang, dan sayapun menyempatkan diri untuk pulang. Sayangnya saat itu saya sedikit tidak enak badan. Acara keluarga, silaturrahmi, dan semua yang biasa kami lakukan saat lebaran pun saya lewatkan. Rasanya pulang ke rumah saat itu sia-sia. Tapi yah, lagi-lagi saya harus tetap bersyukur. Bisa merayakan Idul Fitri sama keluarga besar itu sudah cukup, beside too many favours God bestowed upon me already. Jadi sakit itu rasanya bukan apa-apa.

Sekarang sudah hampir dua bulan setelah program PDT di Bali saya selesai. Unconditional letter of offer dari Uni juga sudah saya dapatkan tepat tiga hari setelah hasil IELTS saya keluar. Booklet kampus, form akomodasi lengkap dengan airport pick up nya juga sudah dikirimkan via email oleh student officer di sana.

Dreams really do come true!
Jadwal keberangkatan juga sudah fix, sekarang tinggal menunggu VISA being granted by the embassy. Sebenarnya juga sudah hampir jadi, Jumat kemarin saya dapat email dari Award’s staff yang meminta saya untuk mengonfirmasi apakah research saya nanti akan melibatkan patient either direct or indirectly? Yah ini memang saya harus tanyakan juga ke supervisor. Email sudah saya kirim, tapi berhubung weekend, mungkin saya baru akan dapat balasan Senin nanti. Hope everything’s going well.

Sedangkan untuk persiapan tehnis, jujur saya belum sama sekali. Jadwal di lab cukup menyiksa beberapa minggu terakhir ini, sejak kerja dengan eukariot saya memang sedikit kewalahan, jadi persiapan terkait keberangkatan masih nol besar. Padahal sudah hampir sebulan sebelum berangkat. Tapi sepertinya saya memang tidak akan menyiapkan terlalu banyak, karena disamping berat bagasi yang terbatas, saya juga tidak mau terlalu repot. Satu hal yang sedikit mengganggu saya dimana saya selaku salah satu international student di sana wajib membawa satu baju khas daerah. 

What is this insanity?

Sepertinya malam terakhir IAP di sana nanti akan ada semacam performance begitu, Oh my, I think I need to prepare some sort of excuse how to skip that cultural performance thing.

Ok sekian cerita malam ini. Terlalu banyak flashback rupanya. 

Ah rupanya di luar sana hujan masih betah mengguyur. Semoga malam minggu kalian menyenangkan teman.

xx.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Continue procrastinating.

Saya sebenarnya tadi uda nulis 5 paragraphs ranting-an gak jelas dan akhirnya saya mustin buat ngehapus semuanya. Damn, literally gak penting like why did i bother writing all this?

Anyway, saya juga sebenernya ada deadline.. tapi rasanya tubuh saya gak niat ngapa-ngapain, males saya uda gak ketulungan. How do you guys overcome laziness like honestly tell me I need to know.
Ok sebelum ini post saya hapus lagi, si doi kemarin ultah.. ini sketch saya mulai gak tau kapan, tapi akhirnya saya selesein juga.. lmao look what I did to his pretty face his mother will never forgive me.

ohh well, happy birthday Tegoshi Yuya.. truth to be told, I regret meeting you..